CHANGE CHALLENGE

Change is essential in a person's life. Without opening to change, we will always be stuck in our current situation and we will not experience progress and happiness in life. Some people say that we need not to change ourselves; rather, we must learn how to accept ourselves. However, there is a downside with this kind of thinking. If we remain to be ourselves,  no matter how rotten we are, for the sake of being unique, we are only allowing ourselves to be eaten by the quicksand of deceptions. Going through life without intending to upgrade our selves - our attitudes and behaviors, would only define one thing about who we are: THAT WE ARE SELFISH CREATURES. Selfish because we rob ourselves the opportunity to have a great life and we do not give people a chance to experience how it is to have a great relationship with us.

So for the rest of the year, I commit to change myself for myself, for the people around me, and for GOD. :)

I will..

• be a giver of time, talent, and treasure with a cheerful heart. I will stop thinking of myself first; rather, I'll find delight in serving God and other people through the time, talent, and treasure lent to me by God. I will stop running after time. I will use my talents to the optimum level.I will get rid of the scarcity mentality when it comes to my finances.

 

• be more decisive. I will not be a wind tossed by the ocean. I will fix my mind on things that are important. I will get wisdom from God.

 

• be more outgoing. I will stop acting like what matters most is my job, ministry, and family. I will enjoy myself as well as the exciting things around me waiting to be explored.

 

• stop being a people pleaser. I can't please everybody. It's frustrating and it's impossible. I don't need the approval of others to feel good about myself.All I need is God's approval. 

• pray and read the Bible more. I have done it before and I can do better now.  I will always keep in mind that prayers (coupled with works) are my access to God's blessings. I will value my time with God and I will get to know more of God through His words. 

 I pray for God's grace to enable me to do all of these. :)

ITS BEEN A WHILE

HOLLA!

A lot of things happened for over a year now since my last post.

• I've been hired as a public school teacher last November 2012.
• I've been serving in the Praise and Worship Ministry in our church since December.
• I've been taking my Masters Degree in Education Major in Reading since last semester.
• I turned 21 last October, for goodness' sake!! HAHA

Ahh. Whenever I look back to those times when I've been depressed and fatigued thinking when I could get a stable job, I just can't help but breathe out praise to God. It's amazing how he orchestrated things to happen for my good. I mean, He really knew what He was doing the whole time even if it meant making me feel insecured and depressed. :)

I'm enjoying my life right now even if teaching is tiring, cash is running out, and boyfriend is away.HAHA. No, seriously, life will be a lot better in the coming days, that I am sure of.

So what now?

My life right now has been really, really extraordinary. Here are the highlights:

• I am still waiting for God's favor regarding my public school application. I don't know how He would get me employed in a public school this year or if it's His will to have me employed in public school this way, but either way, I trust His plans for me. 
• I have been active in church lately. It really keeps me sane, being with my spiritual family. :)
• Afternoon until evening tutorial sessions. Stressful but totally fun, especially during birthdays. HAHA. :D Kidding!
• I have been stretched when it comes to doing things alone.I grew up sheltered and always have someone beside me in almost everything that I do. But I guess it's safe to say now that I have become matured and more independent than I used to be. I am slowly overcoming my fear of approaching people,especially those in offices. :) It's fulfilling for a dependent person like me. :)
• I've already became a Ninang to my 2-month old godson, Roan Jethro. :)
• Fasting. I haven't tried it before, and it's also fulfilling. It's more of relying on the Spirit than on the flesh. :)

Wherever I am right now, I am joyful. I am secured even if I don't have a stable job right now. I am assured for I know that I am destined for greatness, maybe not this time. I don't know when but my hopes are really high. :) I am loving the place and the circumstances where I am right now. :)

To Take MA or Not

My life right now is like a very hard riddle! It's very confusing! I still am caught between getting MA this June or not.Here's the reason why and why not I should take MA this June:

Why?

• The earlier I take it, the better.
• Fast promotion.
• If I start early, I can have two MAs before I get married. 
• It's better to start now because I'm not so busy yet.

Why not?

• I don't have the funds to finance it since I don't have a high-paying job yet. I don't want to depend on my parents for financial support anymore.
• I guess I'm not yet prepared? HAHA. 
• I am still undecided of what major to choose.
• My colleagues will not take their MA yet.
• I STILL DON'T HAVE MONEY TO SUSTAIN IT!

Well, as I look at what I have written just right now, I think I already am coming into a decision. As my boyfriend would put it, to prefer "God's Will" than "Time is Gold".

Maybe I should stop being so idealistic and start being practical; and of course, allowing God to decide for me. :)

Let me breathe out, okay!

I really am bummed with what I have been doing lately. It really is so tiring - going here, going there, with very boring in betweens. Everything is so uncertain regarding my career right now. I don't know if I can get a teaching position in a public school this year (and this means continuing my unstable job again). I am again confused whether to take my masters this semester or not because I worry about my funds. Waah! It's really driving me insane!

The only thing that keeps me going right now is my discipleship process at the church. God's promises reminds me not to lose hope in the situation I am into right now.  1 Thesalonians 5:8 says "Give thanks to the Lord for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." You know, when you are in a situation where everything seems to be unstable or uncertain, it is just but a normal tendency for you to grumble and lose hope. But we are reminded that hopelessness and worries are just few of the devil's scheme to loosen our grip on God which would eventually give him an opportunity to grab and pull us down.

Well, I still love teaching, though. Even if it's tedious, even if it is so hard to get into the public school system, even if the salary is not congruent to the effort you put in the job - I would still pursue it. Maybe right now I am in a seemingly hopeless situation, but I will make sure I will never let myself be defeated by the discouragement of the devil. I have a great GOD. I will put my trust in Him.

*Lord, whatever Your plans for my life are, let Your will be done. Give me the serenity to accept the kind of destiny that You have prepared for me. Lord, guide me as I walk with You. I surrender to You everything - my hopes, dreams, even my worries and doubts. Let Your Holy Spirit abide in me as I journey in this world. Give me a peaceful heart even in the midst of inner peacelessness. Have Your way in me, Lord.